Warning: This is not so much a knitting entry. Politics and a wee bit of ranting lie ahead. I realize it can be uncomfortable for some to read through spectacularly different views from your own, so if there’s the possibility that liberal/leftist views will bother you check back on Friday when it’ll be all sock yarn all the time once again.
Right, are we all good to go?
Let’s start with a simple life philosophy (my boyfriend the philosophy major argues that this is not, in fact, a philosophy – I think he’s just jealous that it’s so nifty): Don’t be a dick.
Now, I realize life is complex and can’t really be encapsulated into a sentence, so let’s just stipulate that there are of course exceptions (which I’ll get to, I swear).
It seems to me that lately there’s just a crazy amount of dickery going on in the communities I frequent. Dickery in real life, sadly, doesn’t surprise me so much. In knitting communities? It’s bugging the hell out of me, because it’s hard to see people you correspond with regularly act like they’ve suddenly lost their ever-loving minds.
Now, I’m interrupting myself to say that this is not a “remember what you say is on the whole internet and think about that before you post” moment, because the Yarn Harlot did that better than I can. You guys know I’m more about the posting of pretty pictures than the writing.
No, this is a “For-Bob’s Sake stop and think if you’re acting like a jerk, and if you are, STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND HAVE A BIT OF A THINK ABOUT WHO YOU WANT TO BE” moment.
If someone left you bad feedback and it has upset you, have that bit-of-a-think about how you may have come off to them before you post to a board and start the woe-is-me-everyone-go-tell-that-person-how-much-they-suck. Remember that not everyone experiences you the way you think. Realize that hey, even with the best of intentions, it’s possible to come off as a jerk.
And here’s the thing that’s driving me beyond crazy: I know women are not one big happy sisterhood. I know there are good women and bad, just like there’s good and bad in every group of people. Still, can we try not to tear each other to pieces over valid choices?
Case in point: I left a Ravelry group this week because while I am indeed Child-Free by Choice, and intend to stay that way, I don’t see the point of referring to women who do decide to have children as “breeders.” There are good kids and bad kids, and I don’t see the value of referring to all children as “monsters.” Complaining about how hard it is to deal with those people who are happy about being pregnant strikes me as silly. People are going to be proud of things that you don’t get for your entire life! Life is not All. About. You. Yeah, if someone is giving you crap about YOUR decision, then it’s that exception for dickery I was talking about earlier.
As far as I’m concerned, a woman’s right to choose extends to choosing to have a baby and not take crap for it. Instead of getting pissed that your co-worker is happy about having a child, how about getting pissed about some other women’s issues?
Like: Honor killings, female genital mutilation, child sex slavery, lack of access to birth control due to government dickery, forced marriages, rape, discrimination, and I could go on but I wish I couldn’t.
So there’s my Wednesday rant. Hopefully it made some vague amount of sense, because I do post in the mornings before work when my brain is not at its best. I don’t know that any of the above will make a difference to anyone – but I hope it at least makes some people think.